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Angles Past

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Recently I reconnected with my sweet friend Evelyn over an art that I keep coming back to: Photography. 

Evelyn knows me well, and when she noticed my camera pouring out of my backpack on her bedroom floor, she suggested we put it to good use and go shoot.

As she began to ready herself I hesitated.. I wasn't sure if that was what I was really looking to engage in that night. But then something came over me. I started to remember the times before I had taken photos of her. I started to reminisce over what that experience is to me, and means to me.

For me, photography is so much more of art expressed than documentation and/or accuracy of a given moment. I am creating while I have my camera in my hand, I am directing, I want to see things the way I am picturing them. I want them to tell a story, one that might not even be presenting itself yet but is waiting to be dug up, shaped, and discovered. 

But I've been disappointed with photography so many times over. I'm tired of seeing the same image over and over again. The reality that so many of us are just looking to recreate something they've already seen, rather than pushing ourselves, our devices, and even our subject to be something that no one has ever encountered before.

I felt this challenge well up within: how can I take a scene, a beauty, and a story that seems to be so repetitive right now and make it to be something that people will look at and be struck by. Angles are always a huge influence in my photos and with Evelyn's limbs and grace I found my vision and the reality before me coming together the more I continued to shoot. 

Now the challenge was, after I finished, how do I share them? I can't post 4829754 pictures on instagram. That would be overdone and outright annoying. But I felt this need to share the story of images, and as I began playing around with the idea of meshing writing with the photos expanded that which I had in mind from the beginning. 

My love for photos mixed with my love for words leads me to quite a juxtaposition. How do I combine the two? I know they are meant to compliment one another, but there are so many possibilities for me as a writer to begin to merge with the visuals that have been produced.

In this day, I was inspired poetically. I saw Evelyn before me and she reminded me of the past. Of when I was photographing her just a year earlier, and then this day felt so different than the previous. The photos look so different. The passion to document and engage photographically felt fresh and recreated. 

And as I scrolled through the 400 some photos I took in less than an hour, stories began to surface, feelings began to flood, and I knew I was ready to take them further and shape them in such a way that allowed me to express more than what a captured image is able to do. 

The more I wrote the more angles began to influence my words and soon descriptions became the force that shaped the stanzas that came from these images. 

And now here we are: Angles Past

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In fields of gold

We left ourselves

Like photos old

Left on past shelves

Framed out of dust

And blown by wind

The corners rust

And the memories thin.

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She reached for me

He reached for them

I reached for him

and felt a hand

I knew there was

More than we saw

But I couldn't help

But take the fall.

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I shield my face

I had to crawl

I couldn't chase

No longer tall

But shrunken down

I felt the blow

Of all the years

That came back slow.

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So close your eyes

was all I heard

But all the mix

of voices stirred

I couldn't hear

no couldn't bear

and then I felt

the weight of stares. 

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The thoughts and smells

Came rushing in

I bent my knees

You hid your chin

We wanted more

Than we had known

But then the saw

How we had grown.

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We didn’t know

That what we’d seen

Was all for show

And couldn’t keep

Up with the times

And with the ways

That we had wanted

In our first days.