Our Present Tension.

Lately, as I’ve been examining my life, my calling, that which lies in my future and all that I am dreaming about doing, being, and seeing I’ve been hit by this tension…

This reality that is so real and can be so difficult to navigate.

It lies within our choices and within our destinies.

It lies within our loyalties and what we deem important and worth while.

It lies within our faith and that which we prioritize.

It lies within the ambitions, goals, and desires for the future.

It lies within that which we are willing to sacrifice and where we would choose to draw the line.

It lies within who we believe we are and who we believe our God to be.


This tension… It’s been stopping me in my tracks. Been leaving me in somewhat of an explanation that ends in a question mark rather than a place of true clarity.


(here it is…)


God says I’m significant, worth it, by sending His son to die that I MIGHT LIVE and actually be saved to an eternal life that has eternal meaning, purpose and weight…




My true purpose is ALWAYS to glorify Him...

and Him alone.


Do you understand the tension?


Are you seeing what I’m seeing?


This acknowledgement of my worthiness because Christ as made me worthy but yet I am supposed to abandon my life and pick up my very own cross and follow Him?? I’m supposed to see myself as a royal priesthood, as a fellow heir with the one that saved me but I’m also supposed to get on my knees, surrendering all that I am and asking that His will be done over my own, that people might see my life and glorify Himself, not myself.


How can we live healthily within this tension?


I don’t want to throw myself out of the gospel: the truth that Christ chose to die for me…

That is significant…

But redirecting my thoughts, dreams, aspirations that it might all be unto the Lord is my true calling… That whatever I would do or say would be a reflection of the King that made me.


I’ve cried out to the Lord. I’ve asked for His help in sorting through the present implications of this tension that seems to be composed of two opposing sides, but in reality I know in my heart of hearts they are meant to work together:


“God help me sort through it all. Let me share it with people, have conversations, speak about it, listen and relate to people over this very present reality.”


This post is really an invitation. An invitation to discover your place within the tension, that together we would gain understanding for that which God has invited us into within the truth that we matter to Him, but that we are meant to live to glorify Himself only, not drawing attention to ourselves, our accomplishments and appearances but rather turning people around to face their Creator and praise Him forever. 


Do you get stuck in this? Do your dreams excite you so much to the point that if they don’t come true deep disappointment would plague your heart and thoughts?


Or do you simply stop yourself from dreaming at all, believing that “whatever God has for me will be,” and you’ve been stopped from entering into the possibility that He might be waiting for you to come to Him with the deepest longings of your heart.


Where are you in the spectrum? And what do you believe God is telling you?


Recently I have been exploring the country of Australia with my family and soon will be embarking on part two of my adventures here with a friend from back home that will be joining me. I’ve been able to do so many incredible things while I’ve been here, one of which was scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef for a few days.


As I was beneath the waters, exploring that which many will never be able to see in their lifetimes, I remember wanting to hold onto the significance of my moments spent literally down under, while also wondering how this fit into God’s calling on my life. How could He use it, how was He being glorified?

As I passed by hundreds of fish, even greeted by a darty shark, I felt like I was a bit of an intruder in a foreign land, but then realized that this feeling was all too familiar. So many experiences the Lord has given me have been uncomfortable, unknown, and required a deep and restful faith.


After we left the chartered boat and I said goodbye to an adventure I didn’t want to end, my heart started buzzing with the hope of several possibilities:


When will I scuba dive again? How will I get certified? It’s so expensive… But so worth it!! Where would be the cheapest place? Maybe I could work for a scuba company and that’s how I can continue la la la la....


Fear started to sink in… Was that my last time strapping on a tank and suctioning those giant goggles on my face? I felt my thankfulness being quenched with panic as I began begging the Lord for more… As if the Great Barrier Reef wasn’t enough.


So here’s where the tension comes in… I started to wonder what scuba diving would mean for the Kingdom of God. Where would my calling to glorify my King encompass my new found passion for this rare activity that I had really just stumbled upon? Was God delighting in this excitement and true desire, or did He wish to draw me away from it that I might pursue something more practical and productive?


So I just started to invite Him in. I had already began to examine the tension days before scuba diving entered my life, it began being shaped on my plane ride over… And this was yet another piece that was stalling me, or rather shaping that which I believe to be true about who I believe I am, and who I believe God to be.


What is something that makes you come alive, that you couldn’t imagine your life without?


Where is God in the midst of it? Have you invited Him in? Has He already spoken to you about it? Or has it snatched you away from Him altogether, a chase that has distracted you, a decision you made that cost you a great intimacy with the one that made you.


I’m not giving out any answers, because I simply don’t have one.


So please, post a comment, reply, email me, I want to hear your heart, your stories, what you believe about the tension and how you see it. Let’s explore it together… The truth that God made you significant, but you are meant to glorify Him alone. How does that impact they way you live, or rather, the way you could or should live.


I belive we’re all in the same boat, so lets tackle this together.