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CR SERIES: Moments

Moments.

 

I want to tell you about moments.

 

Moments I’ve had here where my heart has come alive and my soul has felt the weight of His goodness.

 

Moments where breakthrough in language and relationships has burst forth.

 

Even moments of confusion, of tiredness, of pure silliness and even sadness.

 

Moments of redemption, moments of victory, moments of pure joy and contentment.

 

I’ve realized the in these past seven days here in Monteverde I have encountered so much, learned so much, experienced so much with people I’ve never known in places I’ve never been. It can be overwhelming when I start to lump all of my experiences together in my head, difficult to collect all of my feelings and process all that I have done in this country…

 

But then…

 

I remember moments…

 

Moments when I’ve talked with my host mom for hours in our kitchen, each telling story after story of our lives…About moments of impact..Moments that have made us who we are today. Both being brought to tears by what we stories we have shared as well as by what the other has shared. Realizing we have so much in common even though she is a 33 year old stay at home mother living in the middle of a forest in Central America with three boys under the age of 13 and a husband that works every day of the week so that one day her sons might be able to go to college or even visit the United States someday…

 

Moments when my whole group from my program here get to go to a soccer field surrounded by mountains of green and eat an incredible meal while watching the US woman’s world cup final match. Celebrating together, talking together, enjoying our time together no matter what we are doing.

 

Moments when I get one on one time with a new friend or a family member and get to express more of my heart for the Lord. Letting people into who I am and discovering the lives and hearts of others because I am surrounded by individuals who have all known me for only a week and a half at most. 

 

Moments when my host brothers and I take turns using my hammock for hours, paired with multiple soccer games in our yard and then chase down chickens that have wandered off into the wilderness around our house.

 

Moments when I am welcomed into my grandparents house here with mango juice and embraces. When they ask me how I am doing and tell me to take off my shoes because they want me to stay and visit with them. 

 

Moments when my group goes on adventures together like to a concert in a town near our village and dance the night away in a room full of Ticos (Costa Ricans). 

 

Then…

 

The other moments...

 

Moments when I wake up so tired and have to go to another scheduled activity or school day and I can’t understand my host mom when she is just trying to ask me what I would like for breakfast or how I had slept the night before.

 

Moments of embarrassment when I have to speak in front of my whole class and try to express words, feelings, sentences that I know I don’t have the understanding or the skill in order to do so. And then I plan everything I want to say in my head but still stutter and struggle to get it out.

 

Moments when I don’t want to take a cold shower in the morning but I realize I will be using a bucket and a cup to wash myself for the next nine months come September. 

 

Moments when I feel that six weeks is a long time to be away, but then I realize how long I will be gone next year. Far away from my home, far away from this new home, far away from many people I love, far away from what I have called normal for so long. Then I become afraid that people will begin to contact me less from back home because I won’t be part of their every day life while away. 

 

These moments…

 

Though strong and frequent…

 

Have made up an experience that I would never want to pass up. Though I have gone through many emotions and experienced things that I still won’t be able to explain even when I go home I realize there is always more to be thankful for in Jesus. The fact that He is with me, in me, beside me. Returning to the reality that I am IN CHRIST with the Holy Spirit filling me day by day stills me when I am overwhelmed. 

 

Yes, I will always return back to my God…Because these moments are not what overcome me…

 

He overcomes me, undoes me, and shows me more of Himself by the outpouring of my every moment here…I am believing that every good and perfect gift is coming straight from His hands so I will continue to give Him thanks and also praise Him that He can turn every moment into something beautiful. 

 

Though I share moments of struggle and strife it isn’t sad when I realize the joy that is secured in my King. I welcome more and more of these moments, in whatever shape or form… 

 

Moments of significance...

 

Moments of breakthrough, of impact…

 

Moments.